Hometown: The Roch, MI (aka. The Crotch, aka. Crotchscratcher, aka. Crotchmolester, aka. Rochester)
Currently Living: Clawson, MI
Height: 5'8
Weight: Ha ha, yeah right
Favorite Color: Blue (preferably navy)
Profession: Researcher
Favorite Nickname: Trick, Sloan
Favorite Drinks:Vodka Tonic, Guinness, Diet Dr. Pepper, Dirty Martinis, red wine
Favorite TV Show: Friends, Sex & The City, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Iron Chef America
Least Favorite TV Show: A Baby Story, I Love Lucy, Martha Stewart, Everybody Loves Raymond, every hour long drama
Favorite Books: The History of Love, Beloved, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Fight Club, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The of Being, SurUnbearable Lightness vivor, Empire Falls, The Corrections, The Bell Jar
Favorite Movies: Little Miss Sunshine, Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Wordplay, American Beauty, Life is Beautiful, Amelie, Breakfast Club, Singin In The Rain, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sleeping Beauty, Dancer in the Dark, Duets, The Virgin Suicides, The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Austin Powers I, II & III, My Best Friends Wedding, Moulin Rouge, Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, The Shining, Gone With The Wind, Bridget Jones' Diary, Chicago, Love Actually
Guilty Pleasure Movies: Xanadu, Dirty Dancing, Overboard, Groundhog Day, Steel Magnolias, 10 Things I Hate About You, Bond movies, Footloose, Clue, Murder By Death, High Spirits, A Cinderella Story
What I Do Too Much: Check email, crossword puzzles, complain about my job to friends and family,
Obsessions: sushi, Indian food, ranch dressing, toenail polish, song lyrics, hands, awards shows, symmetry, avocados, maps, dreams, This American Life, the display in my car that tracks my MPG
Pet Peeves: loud eaters, slurping, gulping, arrogance, snoring, bad grammar, repetition, late mergers, ripping cardboard, the word "chunky", intolerance, couples in a restaurant sitting on the same side of a booth, pop-up ads, privacy manager, men that drive without shirts on, being foolish, unfairly jumping to conclusions, being made fun of, cat-calling, people who type too hard
Greatest Fear: crossing bridges
Relaxing Activites: late night drives to sing by myself, headstands, hot baths,
Wish I Was: Ansel Adams, Jenifer Aniston, in love, living alone
Prized Possessions: ring from my grandparents, flower pot of my Grandma's, electric blanket (temporarily broken), tongue scraper, my bed
Craziest Thing Ever Done: getting a tattoo, strip Jenga
Things I Eventually Want To Do: skydive, buy a guitar, learn how to play the aforementioned guitar, take flying lessons, travel to France, write a novel, learn how to play the harp, tap dancing lessons, run a marathon
Thursday, May 03, 2007 Movin' on up....Ladies and gentlemen. It's official: I have accepted a new job. WOOOOOhoOOOooo!!
There is one distinct emotion of joy that comes from two different places. One being that I get to breathe a monumentous sigh of relief and say farewell to all of the garbage that I've recently endured. All the manipulation. All the pretending to work hard (by others). All the complaining (myself strongly included). All the stuff that inevitably got deferred to me because no one does anything. I put up with it for a long time, but now, I'm getting my big ol' bar of soap ready to wash my hands of all of it. I've made it clear that I will help in any way shape or form to make the transition easier, since I kind of hold the reigns on everything right now, but once that moment passes by, then there will be a celebration like no other celebration.
To know that I'm leaving at exactly the right time -- and oh yes there have been signs. I lost my office last week and am now currently smooshed into a corner of the lab, computer, printer and all. My professor that I work with is probably leaving the university soon. All of the projects I'm working on are coming to an end. It's just all right.
The other side that brings joy is what I'm moving on to. There's the word "writer" in my job title. Yes, I'll be spending my days WRITING. As in, someone is going to pay me to write. And although it's not journalism, but more medically angled stuff, still I will spend my days being creative and finding the right words and flexing my brain to say the best things I know how. I still can't believe that here exists a job that melds the two things that I care about so much. Did I mention they're going to pay me to do that?
So life moves on as it always does, and who knows. Maybe in two months you'll read me fuming here once again and down in the dumps hating my job. But now. Oh yes for now. For now I can bask in the glory of possibiity. And the joy of leaving things behind. And I can daydream about how things will change, how I will be able to change them and the vast unknown that stretches before me. I know I'm ready to step off that cliff into a new world. Care to join me?
9:51 AM
Thursday, April 19, 2007 And you already know, how, this, will end....So although it would be easy to toss the "I'm busy, bite me" explanation for my lack of posting, I won't. However, I have tried. I swear. But for some reason, it hasn't been working. It's entirely possible that I'll spend yet another lengthy amount of time constructing a lovely entry to let you all (all 4 of you now?) know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, and hit that magical publish button only for my hard work to get siphoned away into the abyss of the Internet, never to be seen or heard from again. In which case you'll never even know that I wrote this and mentioned that this would vanish ("I mean, I'm looking down on Wayne's basement but, that's not Wayne's basement..."). But they've changed blogger over to a Google-based thing, and apparently Google and I haven't quite hit it off. So let me, once again, attempt to recap the last multiple months of my life.
1. I got into a car accident. 2. I wasn't hurt. 3. My car however, was very hurt. 4. I had my car fixed. 5. A couple short weeks later, I got a new car. 6. It sucks ass to crash your car a few short weeks before you plan to get rid of it. 7. I was happy to finally have all the $$ I've sunk into car insurance come back around. 8. I was not happy when I received my renewal quote for my insurance. 9. My sister and her family moved to Ohio. 10. I have since made a lovely weekend trip to Ohio. 11. It makes me sad that my sister and her family are in Ohio. 12. It makes my sister and her family sad that they are in Ohio. 13. The boy almost got arrested by the vice cops for "allegedly" exposing himself during his performance at the Dirty Show. 14. If someone thought that the 5 foot long vacuum hose covered in pink felt was actually him, then I'm the luckiest girl alive. 15. When he came over after the incident and was explaining it to me, I kept asking, "How could the bike cops catch you in your car?" 16. I didn't quite understand that it was vice cops, not bike cops. 17. It would be pretty cool if a bike cop would have caught him though, huh? 18. It would have been even cooler if one of the vice cops looked like Don Johnson. 19. I may have a new job. Had one interview that went well and asked for references and have another interview tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
See, there really isn't a whole lot to tell from the last two months. What can I say, I'm still just as boring as ever. Hope you've enjoyed this rant. Until next year....
6:40 PM
Friday, February 09, 2007 Master and servants....I am about to make a good case for bringing Handi-Wipes with you when you go to a bar. You never know what may have previously been sitting on that bar stool....
Last Saturday, Suz and I went to see the boy perform at the Erotic Poetry and Music festival. (Note: The boy does not necessarily perform erotic music. Or poetry for that matter. But I think there was the word "loin" in one of their songs). Which was at a pretty cool bar in Detroit. The evenings' poets started off pretty good. Actually very sexy and, not too surprisingly, erotic. However, as the evening wore on, the poets got rather interesting. Think like a 50+ woman dominatrix in some kind of corset get-up with the most awesome mullet I've ever seen in real life. And then there was this couple. The girl at one point derobed and was wearing some kind of sheer thong outfit and was being whipped while the guy recited the poetry (yes, this was my Saturday night). And it could have been hot, if the couple weren't the kind of people you'd see at the Renaissance Festival.
So once done performing, they sat back down at their table and watched the rest of the poets (at this point it was mostly semi-intoxicated guys getting up there half-yelling rather vulgar things that were being paraded as poetry). And for the duration of the evening, the derobed girl, sat politely on her bar stool in her thong outfit, bare-assed cheeks on pleather. And there was a significant amount of ass fondling by the boy while she sat there. I couldn't help thinking that I wished I had some hand sanitizer or something and thought back on all the hundreds of bar stools I've sat on over the years and never thought a thing about it. Surely only other clothed asses had sat there before me. Why would I have any reason to think otherwise?? Well, now I do.
I suppose that I should use that event as a prep for tonight, where we will be going to see the boy perform at The Dirty Show, a rather legendary erotic art exhibition here in Detroit. And yes, I know I said that the boy isn't necessarily an erotic musician, but he is a performance artist, and has a piece that he's doing tonight. Which, from what I hear, involves a blow-up doll. But the evening should be interesting. I'm sure that if I'm wearing anything more than fishnets and electrical tape I may feel overdressed, and based on the photos on their website from previous years, I should expect to see lots of penises.
On that note, I'll be sure to report back to you, in all of its anticipated naughtiness. Have a good weekend.
Smooches.
BTW. We had the 4th annual family bowling fest on Sunday. Needless to say, I did not win the trophy (even with my respectable-for-a-girl, 108). The trophy even went to a non-family member. Now we all have one year to practice our asses off and reclaim it to its rightful lineage.
9:08 AM
I may be skinny at times but I'm fat full of rhymes....In the tradition of honest intentions and well-meaning resolutions, I'm going strong on my "ToDo" list. This was actually a list that originated while Suz and I were in Florida visiting the folks (what's that you say? You were gone on vacation for a week in the past month?). Suzy, throughout the week mentioned at least 2-3 dozen things that "she was going to do when she got home" (research organic vegetables, make mom a jewelery box, make an inspiration wall and on and on). So while sitting in the airport waiting for our 1.5 hour delayed plane (and avoiding talking about Hillary running for president with the guy who was eavesdropping on us and hopped into our conversation), we actually wrote it all down to hold ourselves accountable. Things included on my list include ("Redundancy Department of Redundancy"):
~ Start taking vitamins. ~ Make all of the pictures on my computer my slideshow screensaver (I would highly recommend this as a ToDo for anyone. You'd be amazed how gratifying staring at your screensaver can be when it's not a bunch of random intertwining pipes, a marquee message, or trip through outer space. Plus you can actually put to good use all of those digital photos you took but never look at!). ~ Whiten my teeth. ~ Switch to sea salt. ~ Drink green tea every day. ~ Count every calorie that I eat on a daily basis (I keep that one crossed off for now. I've been good for the last two weeks. They say that you need to do something for three weeks for it to become a habit. Whoever the hell "they" are. And "they" must also know how g-damn hard it is to eat less than 2,000 calories per day). ~ Clean out car. ~ Spill entire bottle of wiper fluid in my trunk for the second time since I've owned the car. ~ Get new car. ~ Go see movies nominated for Oscars with Suz (Babel, Little Miss Sunshine, The Devil Wears Prada, The Queen). You may note that I changed my "Go Rent This Now" to Little Miss Sunshine. Because I mean it. Do it. Stop reading this shit. Go rent it. Or buy it. Or Pay-Per-View it. Or Netflix it. Just do it. Now. ~ Listen to all 2,905 songs in my iTunes. Ok, so I'm getting there. But I add stuff faster than I listen to it. You may have also noted the new CD of the Month selection over there too. Just when it looked as though we were all going to be throwing in the towel, Dave comes through! Had you been in my kitchen when I got the mail, you would have heard my "FUCK YEAH!" pealing out through the rafters. ~ Book my flight/hotel for conference in San Francisco. ~ Buy new shoes. ~ Buy new pants to go with new shoes. ~ Start working out right arm for family bowling outing on Sunday. ~ Smack talking for family bowling outing ~ Find bitchin circa 1980 bowling shirt for family bowling outing. ~ Clean shower ~ Leave bleach-laden footprint on green bathroom carpet from cleaning shower ~ Finish carefully editing blog ~ Find a scheduled time to write blog on regular basis
Ok. That's about all for now. I was going to add a bunch about work and school, but I've decided "That's all I've got to say about that." I'm going to do my best to avoid talking/complaining about work stuff for multiple reasons. Unless of course it includes naked old men or guys that drop trou to go to the bathroom right next to the parking structure. Those I'll be sure to keep-a-coming.
Come to think about it, no random passerby has told me to smile in a very long time. Could it be that I seem to actually look happy lately? What the hell is up with that?
8:02 PM
Friday, January 05, 2007 So this is the new year and I have no resolutions, for self assigned penance, for problems with easy solutions....Au contraire. I'm actually writing them down for documented proof in 360 days of how miserably I failed at all of them. Actually there are many of them I know I'll keep:
1. I have an entire list of races that I plan on doing. And I know those will get done (provided I can get a little extra boost of motivation somewhere to run 10 miles again). Mostly because Suz and I are on track for the running and triathlons this year. Now if I can just find an extra $10,000 around here somewhere for a fancy pants road bike....
2. Finishing my degree. Ok. So that's an easy one. I should actually have things done this semester. I'm back on track (supposably. Supposably? Supposably.) with my project. Or at least more motivated. But isn't that how every first week of January goes?
Mostly though this year, I just don't want to let things slip away. Or just let things slide by without acknowledging them. This can be any range of things. Particularly with friends.
I've lost touch with so many people over the past 12 months. I would say more so than any other year. It would be very easy to blame this all on the boy. That he sucks away all my time. But that's not entirely true. There are other reasons that I would rather not go into here. Suffice it to say that I've complained about financial woes enough for 1 year (another resolution for 2007). But certainly that plays a role in not being able to travel where I would like or do the things I would like or entertain the way I would like.
But it seems to get easier and easier to say, "Well they're not calling me either," as I get older and leave it at that. Are our friendships just destined to be a cyclical, fluctuating cast of characters? All it takes is a move to a different city to shift everything to a fresh start of BFFs. Or maybe just meeting someone else who you click with more. Or maybe just realizing you have different goals. For whatever reason one would lose touch, I really can't use any excuse other than lack of trying.
Like that early January diet and the sudden burst of gym-visiting, these are not things that are easy to sustain. It's not easy to keep in touch with people. Frankly it takes a lot of time. But that's where my resolution comes in. I never want to hear a friend say, "Well you just never called." I don't want to be the one faulted for not making an effort. I want to be that one that sticks with the workout plan until at least March, dammit! And that's not so I can say, "Yeah you're the one who gave up on me." But mostly for my own piece of mind. Mostly to reinforce that these are people who are valuable to me and people that I will make the effort for.
So there's my resolution. I'm going to be the over-acheiver friend that you wish you never had. So that way you can say, "I stopped callin you because you wouldn't leave me alone." I'd be ok with that. We all have a little stalker in us. Isn't that why you're reading this??
Hope you had a happy NYE (I know I did). Good luck with those resolutions.
Random notes: ~ I was sick the day before X-Mas Eve. Puking my guts out. I even yarfed in the Kroger parking lot. How awesome is that? Yup, squatted down, hunched over, vomiting onto yellow parking lot lines right next to an abandoned grocery cart. Fun stuff. ~ On NYE the boy and I went to the Red Wing's game in his cousin's suite. And then made friends with the people behind us in line for the People Mover and went with them to and Irish bar. I think I said a million times to them, "Of course we'll come party on your boat this summer downriver." That was the rum and Coke talking I suppose.
1:42 PM
