Hometown: The Roch, MI (aka. The Crotch, aka. Crotchscratcher, aka. Crotchmolester, aka. Rochester)
Currently Living: Clawson, MI
Height: 5'8
Weight: Ha ha, yeah right
Favorite Color: Blue (preferably navy)
Profession: Researcher
Favorite Nickname: Trick, Sloan
Favorite Drinks:Vodka Tonic, Guinness, Diet Dr. Pepper, Dirty Martinis, red wine
Favorite TV Show: Friends, Sex & The City, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Iron Chef America
Least Favorite TV Show: A Baby Story, I Love Lucy, Martha Stewart, Everybody Loves Raymond, every hour long drama
Favorite Books: The History of Love, Beloved, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Fight Club, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The of Being, SurUnbearable Lightness vivor, Empire Falls, The Corrections, The Bell Jar
Favorite Movies: Little Miss Sunshine, Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Wordplay, American Beauty, Life is Beautiful, Amelie, Breakfast Club, Singin In The Rain, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sleeping Beauty, Dancer in the Dark, Duets, The Virgin Suicides, The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Austin Powers I, II & III, My Best Friends Wedding, Moulin Rouge, Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, The Shining, Gone With The Wind, Bridget Jones' Diary, Chicago, Love Actually
Guilty Pleasure Movies: Xanadu, Dirty Dancing, Overboard, Groundhog Day, Steel Magnolias, 10 Things I Hate About You, Bond movies, Footloose, Clue, Murder By Death, High Spirits, A Cinderella Story
What I Do Too Much: Check email, crossword puzzles, complain about my job to friends and family,
Obsessions: sushi, Indian food, ranch dressing, toenail polish, song lyrics, hands, awards shows, symmetry, avocados, maps, dreams, This American Life, the display in my car that tracks my MPG
Pet Peeves: loud eaters, slurping, gulping, arrogance, snoring, bad grammar, repetition, late mergers, ripping cardboard, the word "chunky", intolerance, couples in a restaurant sitting on the same side of a booth, pop-up ads, privacy manager, men that drive without shirts on, being foolish, unfairly jumping to conclusions, being made fun of, cat-calling, people who type too hard
Greatest Fear: crossing bridges
Relaxing Activites: late night drives to sing by myself, headstands, hot baths,
Wish I Was: Ansel Adams, Jenifer Aniston, in love, living alone
Prized Possessions: ring from my grandparents, flower pot of my Grandma's, electric blanket (temporarily broken), tongue scraper, my bed
Craziest Thing Ever Done: getting a tattoo, strip Jenga
Things I Eventually Want To Do: skydive, buy a guitar, learn how to play the aforementioned guitar, take flying lessons, travel to France, write a novel, learn how to play the harp, tap dancing lessons, run a marathon
Friday, November 19, 2004 The 'S' is for super and the 'U' is for unique, the 'P' is for perfection and you know that we are freaks....There is a faction of women that go to my gym, that I swear, have met by destiny. That some serendipitous force has brought them all together. Because they are all essentially clones of each other. They generally only work out during the day (they all attend the same aerobics class on Fridays), so when I'm periodically on the nocturnal schedule, I'll get to enjoy (debatable) their antics.
And how to describe these women? Unabashed? Brazen? I prefer (and I think they would approve), ballsy. They're the kind of women who, even though you're doing your best to avoid overhearing their conversation, their voices are just loud and brassy enough that there's no avoiding it. That from across the gym you'll hear, "I spend all day picking my underwear out of my ass as it is, why would I intentionally shove a piece of floss up there in the first place?" Or, my favorite, "A bottle of wine isn't going to give me the worst case of gas like that dish my cousin always brings over for Thanksgiving." These are the kind of women you would imagine getting drunk at their husbands' holiday party for the stamping plant and get up and sing a karaoke rendition of "Sweet Home Alabama" like the whole of the Confederacy depended on it.
And maybe I wouldn't be intrigued enough to devote an entire post to them, but I think it's because there are about 7 or 8 of them that I'm mystified that they've all managed to convene together and share their soul-mateness. Shit, I'm so happy when I find people that recognize my lapse into Friends quotes, I couldn't imagine the bliss of having that many people that are exactly like you. Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe I wish that I could explain to them what "indoor" voices are. Maybe I wish I could still wear red socks with the heart lace ruffles that you fold over after tucking your stirrups in to them without looking ridiculous. Maybe I just need to try going to the gym in the evening instead.
You know what I do honestly wish though. There's one CD that they play periodically that is actually one of the aerobics instructor's tapes. And whenever it rolls around to "Supersonic," the old school jam by JJ Fad, I sooooo wish I could bust out the lyrics. Because half the women in my gym will go to town on this song. And sometimes a white girl just wants to show what she's made of. Next time I should make sure that I come armed with my lyric sheet. Because that wouldn't make me look cool or anything.....
Alright. Grocery store bound. Before signing off though, I'd like to take a moment to thank my good friends at Comcast. Because of their failure to show up to fix our cable between the quoted hours of 8-10am, I managed to accomplish every single non-techno related task to do around the house (it's really quite shocking how much of your life can be sucked away by television and the Internet). Now I have a clean closet, rearragned drawers, clean room, repaired bracelet, hemmed jacket, ironed shirts, and a categorized grocery list. Time to get to that. Kisses.
2:50 PM
