Hometown: The Roch, MI (aka. The Crotch, aka. Crotchscratcher, aka. Crotchmolester, aka. Rochester)
Currently Living: Clawson, MI
Height: 5'8
Weight: Ha ha, yeah right
Favorite Color: Blue (preferably navy)
Profession: Researcher
Favorite Nickname: Trick, Sloan
Favorite Drinks:Vodka Tonic, Guinness, Diet Dr. Pepper, Dirty Martinis, red wine
Favorite TV Show: Friends, Sex & The City, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Iron Chef America
Least Favorite TV Show: A Baby Story, I Love Lucy, Martha Stewart, Everybody Loves Raymond, every hour long drama
Favorite Books: The History of Love, Beloved, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Fight Club, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The of Being, SurUnbearable Lightness vivor, Empire Falls, The Corrections, The Bell Jar
Favorite Movies: Little Miss Sunshine, Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Wordplay, American Beauty, Life is Beautiful, Amelie, Breakfast Club, Singin In The Rain, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sleeping Beauty, Dancer in the Dark, Duets, The Virgin Suicides, The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Austin Powers I, II & III, My Best Friends Wedding, Moulin Rouge, Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, The Shining, Gone With The Wind, Bridget Jones' Diary, Chicago, Love Actually
Guilty Pleasure Movies: Xanadu, Dirty Dancing, Overboard, Groundhog Day, Steel Magnolias, 10 Things I Hate About You, Bond movies, Footloose, Clue, Murder By Death, High Spirits, A Cinderella Story
What I Do Too Much: Check email, crossword puzzles, complain about my job to friends and family,
Obsessions: sushi, Indian food, ranch dressing, toenail polish, song lyrics, hands, awards shows, symmetry, avocados, maps, dreams, This American Life, the display in my car that tracks my MPG
Pet Peeves: loud eaters, slurping, gulping, arrogance, snoring, bad grammar, repetition, late mergers, ripping cardboard, the word "chunky", intolerance, couples in a restaurant sitting on the same side of a booth, pop-up ads, privacy manager, men that drive without shirts on, being foolish, unfairly jumping to conclusions, being made fun of, cat-calling, people who type too hard
Greatest Fear: crossing bridges
Relaxing Activites: late night drives to sing by myself, headstands, hot baths,
Wish I Was: Ansel Adams, Jenifer Aniston, in love, living alone
Prized Possessions: ring from my grandparents, flower pot of my Grandma's, electric blanket (temporarily broken), tongue scraper, my bed
Craziest Thing Ever Done: getting a tattoo, strip Jenga
Things I Eventually Want To Do: skydive, buy a guitar, learn how to play the aforementioned guitar, take flying lessons, travel to France, write a novel, learn how to play the harp, tap dancing lessons, run a marathon
Sunday, August 29, 2004 You gotta talk to the one that gives you, all the light in your eyes....
Are we such determined creatures of habit? Is there any sure-fire way to break ourselves of handling things the way that we always do? I have been known to get into consistent modes of operation, that I know are not the best way to handle things. When it comes to relationships and dating, God knows that I pretty much consistently choose the wrong option and screw things up right off the bat. And there's one specific thing that I do that screws things up. Without going into too much detail, you can look to some Liz Phair songs for an explanation.
So for once, I have been determined to choose the exact opposite approach to dating. Because my previous, standard method of operation has not worked in the past, and has generally left me disappointed in myself, dissatisfied, and continually thinking, "I should know better." So something has to work better. Something that doesn't leave me upset and alone.
But the tricky thing about going for the opposite approach to how you normally handle things, is that it sometimes feels like floundering around in an ocean when you don't even know how to doggy paddle. Why aren't there any manuals for this kind of stuff? I'm finding that treading new ground is far more difficult than habit. That I have no idea if I'm making good choices that are going to yield good results, or if I'm just screwing things up in a different way, but screwed up all the same. I was hoping that handling things differently would give me a sense of clarity that I was doing something 'right' and that things would work out perfectly and I would end up skipping blissfully down a rose-petal covered path with the satisfaction of knowing that I had finally hit the right approach, and it all worked like a charm. But I think I'm just as confused and uncertain as before.
If I ever thought I made myself mad with overanalysis before, then I've just pushed it to a new level. I was once told by a significant other than I have a cell block mind. And I had so stubbornly defended myself against that. Saying that I'm an open book. If there's anything you need to know just ask. But the truth is that I really don't like to come right out and say things (if you can't tell by the vague, non-specific, convoluted nature of this post). It's some strange feeling of not liking to blather on about myself all the time (blog MOST CERTAINLY excluded - because I can far better articulate thoughts by writing than by talking). Something about wanting to be drawn out instead of laying my cards on the table for all to see. When it comes to certain things, I am actually a very very private person. As demonstrtated by the fact that I have not mentioned anything in here in the last 6 months or so about any relationship anything. C'mon, did you really think I was that unlucky in l'amour?
So perhaps the moral of this story is that I should just be more bold and willing to come out and say things. To just say how I'm feeling about things, why I'm making the decisions I'm making, what the hell I want. In spite of the fact that it's such an untrodden path. Surely I'll get lost in the overgrown brush. But I guess here's me hoping that there'll be a hand to hold that'll lead me out safely.
1:52 PM
