Hometown: The Roch, MI (aka. The Crotch, aka. Crotchscratcher, aka. Crotchmolester, aka. Rochester)
Currently Living: Clawson, MI
Height: 5'8
Weight: Ha ha, yeah right
Favorite Color: Blue (preferably navy)
Profession: Researcher
Favorite Nickname: Trick, Sloan
Favorite Drinks:Vodka Tonic, Guinness, Diet Dr. Pepper, Dirty Martinis, red wine
Favorite TV Show: Friends, Sex & The City, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Iron Chef America
Least Favorite TV Show: A Baby Story, I Love Lucy, Martha Stewart, Everybody Loves Raymond, every hour long drama
Favorite Books: The History of Love, Beloved, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Fight Club, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The of Being, SurUnbearable Lightness vivor, Empire Falls, The Corrections, The Bell Jar
Favorite Movies: Little Miss Sunshine, Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Wordplay, American Beauty, Life is Beautiful, Amelie, Breakfast Club, Singin In The Rain, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sleeping Beauty, Dancer in the Dark, Duets, The Virgin Suicides, The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Austin Powers I, II & III, My Best Friends Wedding, Moulin Rouge, Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, The Shining, Gone With The Wind, Bridget Jones' Diary, Chicago, Love Actually
Guilty Pleasure Movies: Xanadu, Dirty Dancing, Overboard, Groundhog Day, Steel Magnolias, 10 Things I Hate About You, Bond movies, Footloose, Clue, Murder By Death, High Spirits, A Cinderella Story
What I Do Too Much: Check email, crossword puzzles, complain about my job to friends and family,
Obsessions: sushi, Indian food, ranch dressing, toenail polish, song lyrics, hands, awards shows, symmetry, avocados, maps, dreams, This American Life, the display in my car that tracks my MPG
Pet Peeves: loud eaters, slurping, gulping, arrogance, snoring, bad grammar, repetition, late mergers, ripping cardboard, the word "chunky", intolerance, couples in a restaurant sitting on the same side of a booth, pop-up ads, privacy manager, men that drive without shirts on, being foolish, unfairly jumping to conclusions, being made fun of, cat-calling, people who type too hard
Greatest Fear: crossing bridges
Relaxing Activites: late night drives to sing by myself, headstands, hot baths,
Wish I Was: Ansel Adams, Jenifer Aniston, in love, living alone
Prized Possessions: ring from my grandparents, flower pot of my Grandma's, electric blanket (temporarily broken), tongue scraper, my bed
Craziest Thing Ever Done: getting a tattoo, strip Jenga
Things I Eventually Want To Do: skydive, buy a guitar, learn how to play the aforementioned guitar, take flying lessons, travel to France, write a novel, learn how to play the harp, tap dancing lessons, run a marathon
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
In response to a comment from Thursday's post:
I have taken measures to minimize the amount that I disclose about the persons or entities that I'm talking about (I don't even use my boyfriend's name for Pete's sake), however this is a mostly recent change on my part. I will therefore be removing most of the older content from this site -- which is something I was planning on doing at some point anyway. Very few people read the older stuff, and I have it all backed up for my own means. Eliminating that would eliminate most of the identifiers to track anyone/anyplace/anything down.
As for my diatribe. Certainly everyone has moments where they need to vent about their employers. Part of my reason for doing it in this sort of forum is that I'm sick of hearing myself complain. Which I do on a regular basis to all family and friends. So in the essence of not whining on the phone to 5 people a day, here I can write it once and they can read it at their leisure. And although not specified that carefully, I actually like my "employers" very much indeed. I have no issues with either of the bosses I currently work with. It happens to be issues completely unrelated to them and in a more generic sense that have incited the complaints. I'm more frustrated with a general situation that has mulitple different things contributing to its continued presence. So my diatribe wasn't intended to single anyone out for anything in particular, but mostly a general annoyance.
There is more that I could say on this topic (sad overuse of Googling people when bored), but I won't. But your comment is noted, and will be taken into consideration when I'm deciding to eliminate certain salient features of this blog.
And others should also be aware: there's no such thing as "Anonymous" on the internet.
12:49 PM
Tuesday, March 28, 2006 You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why....I'm being plagued by a green ball. I don't know if it's one of the shiny children's toys they sell in those tall bins at Toys-R-Us that made a break for it, or if it's someone's evil sit-up torture device that they kicked to the curb. Either way, it was wedged between my car tire and the curb last week. I removed it so I wouldn't flatten it when I drove off only to find it wedged between the tire and curb of a car parked further down my block. Where it stayed for a day or two (while the illegally parked car accrued a couple parking tickets). And imagine my surprise to discover the green bouncy ball in our backyard this morning. Which is a rather tricky feat considering that the majority of our yard is fenced except for the driveway. Maybe someone knows that I need cheer and is trying to evoke happy childhood memories of mine by having a ball chase me around because I would almost be inclined to believe that someone threw it over the fence. Or maybe the ball just likes me. Either way, I released it out to the street again today, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it seated politely in my desk chair at my cube tomorrow morning.
Evidence of me being a sap, easily moved by childhood memories: a music video with Curious George made me cry the other morning.
Evidence of wonderful people knowing I need good cheer: Suz and Amy sending cards, and Pnut sending a card, complete with a crossword puzzle and Starbucks card. Ahh...everyone knows me so well. Thank you ladies!!!
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For Amy's birthday last Fri, the boy took it upon himself to celebrate a fondness of Amy and Dave's (and mine, and should be everyone else's), that being Will Ferrell as a member of Blue Oyster Cult playing the cowbell. So Amy was lucky enough to receive, not only a CD containing all songs with cowbell, but her very own cowbell, complete with stick and gloves (for those realllly rockin' out moments). There promises to be hours of endless entertainment with just a simple musical instrument.
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For my field work that I have to complete as the last part of my Master's program in the spring/summer, I'm required to have all of my immunizations updated and a recent TB test. Got all caught up on that today, however I think my arms are going to fall off now. Oh, and it's a good thing that the people working at the health department don't make comission per patient they serve, because there wasn't a whole lotta spring in their steps. But the one woman was spry enough to yell at an old man who turned up the volume on the television so he could better hear Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Thursday, March 23, 2006 Please please please, no more maladies, I'm so tired of crying, you'd think I was a siren....Three more months? Three more months???!!! THREE MORE MONTHS! I have to deal with all of my crazy mother trucking co-workers at my job that I loathe for 3 more months. I swear I am going to have a mental breakdown before June 30th. IIt's been almost a YEAR that this has been going on. That I've been getting promises without any kind of yield. Everything just keeps getting indefinitely postponed. I know I've said I was at my wits end before, but I am in fact sitting here at work in tears. If only there was some way that I could just have a day. Shit, even a couple of hours to just turn off my mind and not be so overwhelmed with all of this stuff. But I can't even make any of it go away.
All I want to do is crawl into the corner of my cube and cry right now, but oh no. I have 1000 freakin things to do and I'll be here until ohhh about 4am tomorrow. And then I have to wake up and jaunt on back down here tomorrow. #12, #12, #12, #12.....
3:47 PM
Monday, March 20, 2006
Update: Suz's stalker from Friday night came and hunted her down by 9am, bright and early this morning. Hey there stalker??!! How you doin?
12:36 PM
Sunday, March 19, 2006 I felt for sure last night, that once we said goodbye, no one else will know these lonely dreams, no one else will know that part of me....There was the temptation on Friday to choose to either throw all responsibilities to the wind and spend an entire day in a green-and-Guinness-induced haze, or to be a together, responsible student and worker and just meet up "late afternoon to early evening" as I had originally planned. Well, it ended up being a careful balance of both, but perhaps a little more of the former. It was more like early afternoon to late evening. But still, fun abound, as well as some oddness.
Our carousing, multi-member group migrated from spot to spot complete with a stalker who apparently knew Suz (and could tell you where her cube was and what skirt she wore on Tuesday February 7th), green hats, and lots of Guinness. Later on in the night, when the boy and I were out together, we were at a little dive bar in Royal Oak. At one point, I ran to the ATM to grab some more cash (what kind of bar doesn't take credit cards these days? Oh yeah, the dive kind), and the boy was stationed to hold down our booth. I was gone somewhere in the area of 3-5 minutes and when I returned, there were 5 people seated at the table, the boy was taking photos of them, and there was laughing and merriment as though the group had been friends for eternity. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less, huh?
It was an interesting crowd of folks, who definitely made the night a blast. But particularly odd was when the two girls we were chatting with moved the conversation to complimenting my uh...rack? They were rather overwhelmingly complimentary. Like kind of in a bit of an extreme way, to even telling the boy that he was a lucky man. It's interesting that if it was a pair of guys, I would have been pissed and horribly offended, but somehow, as two girls, it was just kind off odd. But overall, we had such a blast of an evening. I don't know how it's possible not to on St. Patty's day. Or with such a great group of friends to spend it with.
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Neglect of the blog: again, I apologize. But I've finally figured out that it's not so much the physical lack of time to sit down and write. Because I can sneak in 5 minutes here and there. But the lack of writing is because I think I've deadened every creative vein in my body. Whether or not you think so, writing even the most banal blatherings here requires some amount of creative flexing on my part. I like being able to spend time thinking about how to phrase a sentence that adequately emotes whatever it is I'm trying to say. But that's what I've been missing. Even though I've come across a constant barrage of things that touch me, or move me, or make me laugh, or make me go "Huh?", or make to say, "That's goin' in the blog," I do not have more than a minute more to reflect on any of these things.
I have no time to examine why I get so happy from a simple trip to the grocery store. I have no time to detail the exciting tension I get everytime the wind blows hard and shakes the trees and the foundation of our house. I have no time to ponder the odd malaise that keeps cropping up on me at moments when I should be inherently, monumentally happy. I don't have to time to put words to anything. I just let every thought fly in and out of my head while briefly acknowledging it's there for a moment, but letting it go and not figuring out why it was there, and more importantly, what it meant. I've been reduced to just absorbing feelings and emotions, letting them blanket over me, and then react however reflexively the emotion dictates. I have fully lost the ability to practically analyze any of my surroundings or how they impact me. I've become sort of a monkey going through my motions and sticking to the most automatic reactions to anything that presents itself to me.
Needless to say, I hate this version of myself.
She is not the soul of me. She is not the heart that I cherish. She is an imposter who is shutting down portions of my cortex. I relish every stupid little thing that brings any amount of joy or bliss or excitement to my life. To me, that's what it's all about ya'll.
If I once had the energy or the creativity, I would have greatly detailed the conquest of a certain candleholder now in my living room (and the unsuccessful coercion of a nephew of mine to get it for me), or how to not leave a candle unattended so that the price tag at the bottom catches on fire and sends flames leaping into the air, or my shoe shopping trip, (OH! The shoes! That would have been a week's worth of of heaven-sent writing in-and-of itself!), or the ongoing saga with my evil adversaries at the U.S. Postal Service who don't know how to read. See! See how wonderful and exciting and tantilizingly alluring all of these anecdotes sound?? I want them to permeate my life and be the overbearing focus. I want to bathe in simple pleasures and oddities and quirkiness and everything that is there for the taking, everyday of our lives. I want to peel them apart and figure them out while just letting it be just what it is. That's the me I remember, and like and want back.
But I don't think she's going to resurface for some time. I apologize for the next month or so in advance because any effort for blogging will be scant. Because sitting down at a computer, my initial reaction will be to complain. And fuck if I dont do that enough as it is. That's all I do. Here: let me write the following sentences, and if at any time in the next 6 weeks, you come by to read this and I haven't recently posted, just reread these sentences, and I GUARANTEE that they will be a phrase or complaint that has either recently come out of my mouth, or is currently going through my mind:
1. I hate my job. 2. My co-workers are effing crazy. 3. How am I ever going to get all this done? 4. What time of day is it? 5. Why can't anyone do anything on their own? 6. If I hear someone say my name one more time today, I'm changing it. 7. I can't believe I'm still working here. 8. If I have to explain this one more time, I'm going to go apeshit. 9. My co-workers are effing crazy. 10. Leave me the fuck alone. 11. How am I ever going to get this done? 12. Is it over yet?
There. That should cover me for the next couple weeks.
I honestly don't know how to jolt myself back into feeling again. Maybe jumping out of a plane'll do it (stay tuned for that!). But I know that I just have to jump through hoops for now, and put my ear (hee hee) to the grindstone and "This too shall pass." I know that I know that I know that. But that doesn't make it any easier. Or any less mind-numbing. But I'll continue to take deep breaths in and out, and try to function in all of my different roles as best I can. I know they're all going to suffer, but it's all I can do to keep it all together now. I guess one day I'll be able to tell you about why full moons are going to make me cry. Or why I'll never buy bulgar salad from Holiday Market ever again. Or why I'll laugh everytime I see anyone eat a coney dog, fully expecting impact with pants.
Until then, I'll have to just keep reading #12 over and over again.
8:25 PM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 Open up the dirty window, let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find....I am in full-on spring fever mode. It was startlingly beautiful here this weekend and I had to chuck all responsibilites to the side and frolick. Oh yes, there was frolicking. Do you think I'm kidding? Just ask the boy. He frolicks very well.
Friday treated Kelly to a surprise party that was indeed much of a surprise for her. The esteemed guest of honor arrived later than anticipated (FYI, if you're doing a surprise party, don't expect to be done with a fondue dinner anytime quick), and most of the guests were a little intoxicated by the time she got there. Ok, so I can only speak for myself, but based on the volume of A-Ha being sang, the parallels of Slim Jims and wine charms, and cupcake decorations being used in creative ways, I'm gonna wager a guess that I wasn't the only one. Happy Birthday Kel!
Saturday I saddled up in my cute new spring jacket, moved into my summer purse (hey, if the tulips are coming up, it's turquoise purse time) and headed out to Ann Arbor with the windows down and radio up. Sure, my hair was a mad tangle, but it was worth every tone deaf note sang. I wandered around the city for a while, met Amy for a glass of wine, and we proceeded to meet up with Sarah and Andrea, the roomies from college. We had a blast catching up, talking about old times, and covering all range of topics -- from books to medical ailments to....errr...yeah. That's it. And just to prove that I'm not the only one who has spring fever, Andrea didn't wear a coat. It was great to see you ladies!
Sunday was gloriously sunny and warm and I enjoyed a run (I know! Me? Enjoy a run?), and a walk with the boy later that involved a park and swings. Am I old if a swing can make me a little motion sick?
I don't know if the weekend could have made me any happier. I'm sure if I had done any of these things on a normal cold wintery weekend, it wouldn't have had the same effect. But the backdrop of 60+ degree days was enough to make me spring-crazy in the head. I even wore a sleeveless knitted top yesterday and one of the girls in our department told me I looked like a "breath of springtime."
The payback? It's about 30 degrees outside now with wispy flurries, and with the wind blowing like a mother, it's feels well into the teens. I retaliated by buying some sandals. Yeah. Take that! I would even wear a bright floral skirt tomorrow to make a statement if I only didn't get goose bumps on my legs so easily....Ah well, soon enough, soon enough. Be sure to check back in a couple weeks when I'm bitching about how much I hate being hot and sweaty.
1:44 PM
Thursday, March 09, 2006
BTW. Not sure if you are as obviously cool as I am and managed to catch America's Next Top Model last night, but this girl on the left? Is it modelesque if I CANNOT stop thinking that she looks like Flavor Flav? Or is that just an indication that I need to stop watching VH1 so damn much?
Mine is not a new story, but it is for me....Good news on the job front: I should be starting the 2nd job full-time in the near future. As in very near future. Like April 3rd. As long as my university aren't a bunch of dumbasses and can figure out how to handle all this tricky paperwork in 3 weeks, then it should all be-a-go. It's a nice coincidence that I met with my other boss less than a week ago about increasing some of my lab responsibilities if I was going to be around for a while.
Gee, have I written this post before? About starting my new job? Cos I think that maybe I have...
Also, there's a possiblity I may be going to China in the fall. How basass would that be? If not China then possibly Thailand, Kenya, Peru, or Brazil in the future. Ahhh, it's all just conjecture now, but my prof does HIV projections with all of these countries, so hopefully sooner or later I'll get to tag along.
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I've had 101 things come along in the past few days that I wanted to say, but of course when I sit down, I stare blankly at the screen like a rocket scientist. Maybe a bolt of inspiration will strike me at some point today....or tomorrow. Or next week. I'm not holding my breath...
2:07 PM
Friday, March 03, 2006 Must you make me laugh so much, it's bad enough we get along so well....My most profound apologies for the week-long absence. Another week of insanity at a breakneck speed. I've been thinking about the time, one day in the future (near future at that) when I'll have one job and no school. WTF am I going to do with all my free time?
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Incompetence at work? Last week one morning, I was working on analysis at home, and of course I received a call from work asking me a question. When we have women participate in the study, they have to take pregnancy tests (probably not a good idea to be depriving a fetus of oxygen). So the phone call? They were asking me how to take the pregnancy test. First of all, there were instructions in the package with the tests. Second of all, one of the people working on it was a 40-something woman. Honestly in all those years you didn't even pick up on how to take it, regardless of whether or not she ever needed to? Third of all, YOU PEE ON A STICK! It's not that tough!
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My favorite moment of the past few months: Be careful if you're challenging someone to go hug a team mascot in a giant orca costume. Because if he's the right guy, he'll definitely do it and even might grab his ass for free drinks all night. And the photo to capture the moment, my friends, is priceless. I'm laughing just thinking about it. His head only came up to "Shooter's" chest, his arms didn't reach all the way around, and "Shooter" has his flippers up in the air like, "WTF you doin' dude?" A picture's worth 1000 laughs for sure.
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Death Cab for Cutie and Franz Ferdinand? April 18th? So there. And so pumped.
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It was thundering yesterday morning while is was sleeting.
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T-minus 3 days to the Oscars. Additional movies I've managed to watch: Crash and North Country. I know Blockbuster no longer has late fees, but I'm pretty sure I still managed to rack some up for North Country. On the dockett this weekend: Walk the Line, Pride and Prejudice and I am going to see friggin' Capote if I have to go all by my lonesome. I cannot justify having just read In Cold Blood without seeing this movie to boot.
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Alrighty. My subject didn't show up this morning, so I was here at the bright hour of 5am for nothing. But now, I have lots of time to get other stuff done. TGIF.
6:56 AM
